


Education On Emotion

by AdrianMatthew



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxiety, Coming Out, Cute, Depression, Gay, High School, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 11:57:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18151583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrianMatthew/pseuds/AdrianMatthew
Summary: Anthony came out as gay in high school, Ethan did not.Ethan has always wanted to write a book, his mental health did not.Ethan's focus on writing is sidetracked as he finds himself falling in love with Anthony, and Anthony is bewildered as to wether or not the feelings he's had for his best friend for years are finally being returned.Noah's just here for the ride, we love Noah. He knows what the fucks going on.





	1. Prolouge

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! I've been working on this book since August 2017, EOE is my baby, please show it some love! I hope y'all like this and remember kudos and comments (especially comments) are greatly appreciated. I'm so scared about putting this up so aaaaaa please let me know what u think :)

“I don't know where I'm going to go with my life, I'm 17 years old and have no idea what I'm doing.” Anthony let his eyes flick over the stars as he awaited his best friends answer. “You know you don't have to have it all figured out now, right?” Ethan inquired, leaning back against the slope of the roof. “You don't get it, you're 16 you don't have to worry about being an adult soon.” Ethan laughed in response, shaking his head slightly. “I'm a year younger than you Anthony, you act like I’m 11.”

 

The two boys fell into silence then, watching the night sky for what seemed like years, Ethan letting his eyes fall shut as he listened closely to the cicadas and the sound of cars rushing down the freeway in the distance. “What do you want to do then? Do you have your life figured out at all?” Anthonys words cutting into the silence, his voice much softer than before. Ethan opened his eyes, looking over to the brown haired boy as he fought his brain to come up with an answer. “Not really...” He settled on saying, “But I.. I’ve got dreams I guess, things i want to do.”

 

“Everyone has dreams, everyone has something they want to do with their life, but they think they can’t, so they don’t fucking try.” Anthony said, along with an excessive amount of hand motions “Don't do that Ethan, do whatever you want to do, as much as that sounds like bullshit your Mom would tell you.” Ethan let the words sink in a bit, finding that he didn't have a response. Of course he wanted to follow his dreams, but with how things we’re going right now he wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to. “What is it you want to do? That dream of yours.” Anthony questioned. “I want to write a book.. I know it's a bit dumb but i've always wanted to be an author.” He answered, carding a hand through his light brown hair.

 

Anthony nodded, smiling at Ethan. “Then that’s what you do, you write.” Ethan's eyebrows furrowed together as he threw thoughts around in his head, trying to decide whether or not to voice the fact that writing was extremely difficult for him. It had always been something he struggled with, putting the words that were filling up his head down onto paper. Finally he let out a small “Okay.”  

 

“I want to get married someday, have a kid maybe. I know that’s not really on the same topic as jobs and I've got a while before i have to start worrying about it but... i don’t know, forget it.” Anthony rambled, fidgeting a bit with his hands. “Well,” Ethan spoke, “it’s not really something to  _ worry  _ about, is it? I mean, you’ll find a girl to fall in love with someday.” Anthony visibly tensed at his words, taking a shaky breath. “You okay?” Ethan asked, noticing how nervous he seemed all of the sudden. 

 

“Yeah… yeah I- I’m good.” The older boy stuttered, his eyes focused on the roof panels as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. “It’s just that.. god, I can trust you, right Ethan?” He pulled his eyes away from the dark sky that was dusted with stars to look at Anthony. The air around them shifting along with the suddenly heavy tones of the conversation. “Of course you can, what’s going on?” 

 

Anthony tapped his fingers on the roof, closing his eyes as if mentally preparing himself for what he was about to say. Ethan watched with worried eyes, trying to imagine what Anthony wanted to tell him. The sound of the cicadas, the cars on the freeway, and the tapping of fingers all faded away to silence as Anthony opened his eyes, “I’m gay.” he let the words slip past his lips and into the humid summer air. 


	2. Chapter 2

"I can't do this." Ethans words sounded all too loud in the small bedroom. Echoing against the wooden walls and the emotion they left behind echoed deep inside his chest, leaving him with a deep, unsettling feeling. He'd been sitting at his desk for nearly an hour, though it felt much longer, his fingers resting on his keyboard yet not pressing a single key as he stared blankly at the screen. A hesitant knock sounded at his door, Noah peeked his head in and gave Ethan a small smile. Noah was one of his best friends in the world, along with Anthony that is. "Are you busy Ethan?" He asked, pushing the door open slightly "I can come back if you are, but I made you coffee." He smiled back at the smaller man, "No, I wish I were busy. I just... can't write this." he said, taking the cup of coffee from Noah as he entered the room.

Noah sat on the edge of his roommates bed, running his hand over the fuzzy blue blanket that was draped carelessly across it. His wide green eyes seemed to glow under the warm lighting from Ethans desk lamp, his soft dark hair sticking out from under the black beanie he wore. "I should just give up." Ethan said, taking a drink of the hot liquid. Noah chuckled, and it made Ethan feel sick because he knew exactly why. This was most likely the hundredth time he had told Noah he was going to give up on writing, but the younger of the two would always find Ethan back at his desk, head in his hands with a blank document open, or sat on his bed with papers spread out in front of him and tears in his eyes.

“We both know you’ll never give up.” Noah said knowingly, and Ethan absolutely hated that he was right. He wouldn’t. He’d keep trying till the day he died all because Anthony told him to years ago, because Noah believed in him more than anything else in the world, because he had so many unfinished drafts that haunted him, because he wanted to prove his head wrong, because this was his dream. Ethan took a deep breath, setting the gray mug down on his light wooden desk. “You’re right”

“Have you gotten anything done today?” Noah asked, though he wouldn’t let Noah read what he did bring himself to write, he always let his friend know when he was able to write something. “Only about 300 words..” He sighed, “And I don’t know what happens next.. well I did, or at least thought I did. I don’t know how to put it into words though.” Noah looked at Ethan sympathetically, “You know..” he trailed off, giving Ethan a look that told him he wasn’t going to agree with what he said next. “Maybe, if you’d let me read something of yours I could give you some feedback, try to help.”

“You can’t, not now atleast. My writing is.. personal I guess, and it’s bad, you’ll judge me.” The response he usually got from people when he told them his writing was personal was “How do you plan to become an author if you can’t even let people read what you write.” and it always upset him because he couldn’t help his fear of sharing his creations. His overwhelming anxiety of someone judging something he’s poured his heart and soul into, something he’s worked so hard to bring himself to create. To his relief Noah smiled “That’s okay, you don’t have to show me. It’s just a suggestion, and i want you to know that if you ever do want me to read something you've written you can. I won't judge any of your works.”

“I know.. thanks.” he said.  
“Just, try and get some sleep, it’s nearly 2 AM” Noah offered, pushing his hair out of his face as he stood. He was always one to look out for Ethan. He cared about him, and that was evident with the way he’d put his best friends needs in front of his own. “If you want me to go to bed why’d you bring me coffee?” Ethan asked, yet he took another sip of the drink nonetheless. Noah rolled his eyes. “It’s decaf, now go to bed.

Noah shut the door softly behind him, his footsteps getting quieter as he made his way down the hallway. Ethan turned back to his computer screen, the blinking cursor almost taunting him. He shut off his computer with a sigh. Nothing more was getting done tonight.


End file.
